Improving Or Changing Communication Habits Can Be Achieved Step-By-Step

January 27, 2012

The concept of practice applies to any skill that you want to cultivate. For example, if you are switching from piano to flute, you need extensive practice before you can perform in a public recital. In the world of karate, tae kwon do and other martial arts, you do most, if not all of your learning on the mat as you practice new techniques and move up in ranking.

The process of improving our communication habits is no exception as it too needs practice. The problem with holding difficult conversations is we often find ourselves in performance mode before we have the chance. Going back to communication, it would behoove you to learn the essential skills and practice them, to avoid situations comparable to the one just stated in the last sentence.

Your quest for self-improvement would begin with one of the many books, cassette tapes, instructors and workshops that deal with the requisite skills for good communication and would allow you to practice. Research. Make sure your bucket list contains something like reading a self-help book once a week or attending a workshop every three months.

You can also learn from your successful conversations as well as the ones that don’t turn out as expected. Some say it is negative reinforcement, but remember that people by nature tend to remember the negative side of things, and it pays to be aware of what has to be done to avoid something similar in the future. Here are some ways to bring that awareness to bear in the moment, and to continue to practice communicating more clearly and purposefully:

Increase Awareness. Is your communication style capable of achieving what you want to achieve? If not, try something different.

Acknowledge. Do you have any positive intent through communication? And theirs? Recognize that you are both doing your best, and give yourself and your partner the benefit of the doubt.

Keep it safe. Do not lose sight of that positivity, and keep yourself calm, relaxed and courteous when dealing with other people.

Fostering Curiosity. Develop an open, curious, and interested frame of mind. Regardless of what your conversation partner says, try to see their centered intent and respond appropriately.

Practice, Practice, Practice. Try new techniques and learn from them. If your tendency is to be easy-going and passive, you may want to evoke a stronger personality at times. Conversely, you may have an extremely strong personality which may need some moderation. What do other people say? Curiosity may have killed the cat, but are you a cat?

A tourist stopped a New Yorker on the street and asked: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” Guess what the New Yorker said. An old joke, but a good one. The point is that change takes place gradually over time. Try one adjustment today. Choose from the above suggestions and see what works for you. Leave a message in the guestbook and let us know how it goes. Relish your newly discovered talents and use them to the hilt. And enjoy yourself while at it, will you?

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